Tuesday, January 3, 2012

New Year - Finding things out about me

With this being a new year, 2012 rolls up with me looking at myself in the mirror and seeing what I need to do to complete myself.

I remember when I was younger, I would always have a book in my face. I would get so enthralled in a book that I would only put it down for a couple of minutes, only to have to pick it up again just because, well just because "inquiring minds wanna know"!

For 2012, on top of trying to get the house in order, I am making some good time getting back into my books. I am loving it. With the help of my Kindle Touch, I am feeling better about taking "me time" and setting time aside to read. Usually it's just Gracie and myself at home through the days, and even though we have our own set communication, well sometimes you just need that time to exercise your brain. My only wish is that more office management apps were available for the touch and I am endlessly searching and reviewing products to see if they have been revamped for use with the Touch.

I am also getting back into the crocheting. I am finding that I have been stepping up more to the plate to get into some pretty cool patterns and making things more than just baby blankets. I do have one blanket pattern that I love and will probably be my signature blanket.

I think the biggest thing for me is my frame of mind. I have forever and a day just went with the "flow of things" - ideas and ways to do things as other people usually felt or did. I am proud to say that I am beginning to stand up for myself and things that I believe in. Do I feel totally bad for doing so? Yes, I do; however I feel better that I am actually listening to my feelings and what I want for a change than to do what others want me to think or do. I have realized that I am the only one who can control my actions, and I cannot control the actions of others and their beliefs. I feel like for a long time I have been lost; unaware of my feelings or the fact that I was confused in beliefs and that this change has been coming for a while.

I am tired of being walked on, told that I should be doing this or that, etc. I understand that sometimes with people giving me other options sometimes I can understand and make a choice, however I do not need another person telling me that I am always wrong.

It's time for change. Change is around the corner. I slowly feel it changing me. It's a good feeling too!

I believe that life is an never-ending force of change. Sometimes we feel or see it; a lot of times we don't. Things that happen to us throughout our lives mold us into what we become today or for that matter tomorrow. It makes us stronger. We sometimes forget that we hold the strength that we do.

So for today, I need to look in the mirror, and decide what I can do better.

It's a new year. I won't be forced to look at it with a closed mind.

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