Monday, August 30, 2010

The best thing to brighten your day...

Is to be able to look at your child and see her smile for no reason!

Wednesday, August 25, 2010

7 weeks - Wordless Wednesday

Monday, August 23, 2010

Emotional decisions effect everyone

This weekend was difficult. Difficult indeed.

There are things that you face, some every day, some once a week, some monthly, well... I think you get even some once in a lifetime. Some of those decisions are for you, your family, and even if you make the wrong decisions you live with what you make. Some of these decisions can be heartbreaking or even the highlight of your life.

Some decisions you can take information from every expert that you can seek information from; but only you can make the decision. It may not be a decision that another person would make- but no one should be able to judge because they have not been where that person is at the time the decision is made.

This weekend I have been faced with a lot of decision making.

There are also things that come where you cannot make something change; you are forced to live with what happens and cannot change what they are. My challenges are not one of those you may be faced with and that you may or may not agree with but they are not your decisions to make.

I have given up on some of the dreams that I once thought I would be able to do - I have given up on the mere thought of nursing my child.

I had a glimmer of hope of Friday but after this weekend I clearly see that it. is. over. I have given her the best of what I can and that was 6 weeks more than some children get. I have tried; I have been overwhelmed with Milk sensitivity, I have been frustrated because it was so difficult to make this decision. I have felt guilt for not trying harder. I feel like a failure in so many ways. I feel like I have let my little Gracie down as I have let myself down.

I think there were too many problems and concerns that effected my decision. I also saw that 1 day without nursing Gracie has led to a child that is more easier to deal with and that there was something in my diet that was effecting her to cause her more pain to deal with than the possibility of what good nursing could do for her.

I have been quiet on my blog while I have had to deal with poor little Gracie and the special diet that I was forced into just for her.

Just because it's right for one does not mean that another can do it. I need to be at peace just knowing that I tried. I gave her 6 weeks worth that no one can ever take away from her.

I pray that it has been beneficial to her and that it helps her through out her life.

Tuesday, August 10, 2010

Leapfrog's My Pal Violet

One of my friends talked about this dog so much I was considering purchasing it for her when she got a bit older, however they bought it for Gracie a couple weeks ago.  I was surprised when she started responding to it at only a few weeks old even though the manufacture's suggested age is 1 year.

When I got it out of the box, it came with a cord to hook it up to the computer and also came with instructions on how to get to the web page to download the songs and how to add the name.  At the web site, parents need to sign up the toy to keep the information and to download it onto Violet.  You can download songs and the child's name and also an animal, color and favorite food from choices they have online.  It also lets you download songs for your child to go to sleep with and also has a button to play "games" with your child.  While Gracie is too little for the games portion, she absolutely adores the songs!

Gracie by no means is a "I want to be alone baby".  She wants to be held all the time.  At least with this stuffy and toy she can be put down and easily entertained with Violet for some time so that I can take a break, make dinner, or deal with the other kids.

While getting ready to write this blog, I decided to look up the information on it on  I was surprised to see the cost to consumers for Violet to be under $20.00 seeing as how when we played with it we easily thought it would have been a more expensive toy with as much as it does.  Hats off to Leapfrog on keeping it affordable!

I also found this product listed on Target's website|1287991011&ref=sr_bx_1_1&x=0&y=0 

This site also shows the "boy" pal - scout which is green.

I know that Gracie will love growing up with her pal "violet" - even though it has already gained the nickname "her Gracie dog" because it sings songs with Gracie's name in it and also tells Gracie she "loves you".  It is such a sweet toy and I feel upholds the standards that Leap Frog  stands for in their products.  I have always loved Leap Frog toys- but this really is a cool toy and I am eager to start looking at some of their other products too.

This was Gracie's first time with Violet and even though she was not a month old yet, still was very interested in what it was doing!

Friday, August 6, 2010

Gracie and I are winners!!

Yesterday I was shocked when I got a package dropped off through Fedex.  I thought immediately that it was the pieces parts for "the lunch wagon" extractor (Breast pump) so that Lil' Gracie could eat while the lunch wagon was not around! 

Boy was I wrong!  The photo here shows what was in the box and I was very excited when I opened it! 

Then the fun began as I searched for paperwork to see where it came from... No papers to be found!  I figured it was something that I signed up for while pregnant and that they decided to send around Gracie's due date, and I even wrote a nice thank you on Johnson's wall, but then after I saw the name of the company on the shipping label I am thinking I know where it came from.....

Some of you may remember the movie trailer that I shoved showed on my blog?  I think it was actually from that!  So I need to thank all of you who decided to click on all of the babies movie trailers as I am actually believing that is where this came from! 

Other exciting news is that our local WIC department had a Pregnancy and Breastfeeding Health Fair today to celebrate 10 steps to a healthy baby and world breastfeeding month.  They had information available from local support agencies, health care providers and support groups from the area.  At first the kids thought I was going for another class, but after they got into the fair they really started liking all the fun things they had there and of course, what kid would not like all the freebies??? I cannot even begin to tell you about how big of a bag we walked out with full of literature, freebies, information, etc. that will be a wonderful asset to learn about.  They also had fruit, veggies, dips, pizza, cookies, muffins, and water with a photo of a baby showing off nursing on the front of the bottle. 

The cutest part (and I loved that they had this) was that they had an area set up so that the kids could practice swaddling a baby doll.  They even had the instructions in print!  Katelyn and Steven decided to try it and it was so precious watching Steven swaddling up a baby doll... I just hope he don't get it in his head that he can do that with Gracie without me around!!

Oh, and to top off the day, I got my "lunch wagon" parts and pieces and Gracie is gonna be a very happy child because she will be able to eat if momma decides to leave for a couple hours and not take her (and not have to depend on that yucky smelling formula when its burped!

One month and 4 children

We have had the four children "officially" for one month and one day in this photo... 
Does it look like they adore their new sister?  

Which one is not me?

Thursday, August 5, 2010

Four weeks old and a look back

As my sweet Gracie turned 4 weeks old today, I look at Friday(August 6th- her due date) and wonder what things would have been different for both of us.

When I first learned I was pregnant I thought "Hey, it's the fourth child, piece of cake!". I thought that everything would be the same, and I really thought that I knew what I was doing and how everything would go. I remember meeting with the nurse in my doctor's office and explaining how fast I delivered my children and knowing that I went usually within an hour of my water breaking.

In some instances I "knew" how things would be...

Boy was I wrong about "knowing" how things would be! Never in a million years would I have thought that at 18 weeks I would be told I may have a possible Down's syndrome baby, that I was/would have been in labor at 31 weeks and have to stay a night in the hospital with Magnesium running through my veins or the thought of my little girl being born early. As we finally came to Birth Day, We were filled with stress and anxiety of not knowing how she would be... weight wise, health wise and was she turned the right way? Did we have to go c-section or would we be able to go natural? There was also the happiness of knowing it was baby day... that we would finally meet our daughter and I could evermore leave the bad dreams of being told she was a girl only to birth a boy. Walking into what had just become "the unknown" since everything I had ever known with babies was finding me seeing I knew less than what I actually knew!

Things happen for a reason. My little girl decided it was time to be born early; whether it was to meet us early because she wanted to see us too, or even if it was the possibility of her wanting her own birthday.

She is the sweetest thing! She is so laid back, so calming, so... herself! She LOVES to cuddle, hates her diaper being changed and she is finally getting used to her swing. She is a tiny TINY baby who sometimes looks like my sister, but then in a moments movement looks like each of her siblings. She makes sounds like a mini pony, only to turn around and make noises like a sheep after Grandma proclaims her nickname to be "Whinny" after staying with grandma for a few hours.

She raises her head to look around very well, as she tries to utilize her feet to stand up. I swear I have to forewarn anyone holding her to watch because she pushes backward and you have to stop her! She is sleeping and eating well- even though she has a tendency to show signs of a milk and dairy sensitivity that I have to watch.

Daddy rushes home from work to hold her and swears her nickname should be "Peanut" and she even mimics Peanut with Jeff Dunham when she takes her hand and maneuvers over her head like the purple fantasy that the ventriloquist works with.

We have fun holding her and watching her sleeping with all of her funny faces and we have fun thinking about all of the angels she is talking to.

She came into this world early for a reason. Even though we know that the reason is unknown to us personally, we are happy she is hear; safe and healthy. Her siblings adore her and she is such a blessing to our family. Now that she is here, I cannot even think of what my life would be without her and I try to treasure every day that I get with her.  She has taught me more about patience and has even given me the need to find different ways to look at life.