Wednesday, July 27, 2011

Asperger: It's a right in your face reality for me.

It's been a while since writing, and I will admit I have had one heck of the last couple of months. With school, IEP meetings, shopping for a new school for Steven, working with case managers, add in 3 kids each with a different baseball/softball schedule... and well, just "life" happening, I pretty much lost myself in those issues more than sitting down and writing on my blog.

While I write mostly to get things figured out in my head, I also like to write to help others who may be going through situations such as mine. It takes a lot of gumption to write about some of the things I want to write about and I have often worried about what kind of "recourse" would come out of my writings. I think it's time to actually start writing from what I honestly want to write about instead of him hawing around topics that may offend others. After all, this is my life, and it's my blog and I'll vent if I want to.

So yes most readers know that I have my "not mes" roaming about my house. My soon to be 14 year old is "Aspie" or Asperger. This means that he does not do well usually in a social environment. He is very smart, but he likes to pick and get things going with the other 2 older ones in the family. Yes, you read correctly, he will be attending a new school that is more suited for his needs. He will be going into 9th grade, and I was just too worried about how/why and what would happen in a high school full of neuro-typical kids. I pray that the school helps him catch up socially and emotionally. He has went to the school three times now and he loves it. His teachers all love him, he has made friends with other classmates already, and he likes that "he fits in". He will be attending on the Ohio Autism Scholarship Fund. This new change will put more onto me, like taking him 20 minutes away and then turning around and picking him up as well. It will take some adjusting on all of our lives, but I feel that this is the best suited school for him.

Before coming to the realization that he would need to move to a new specialized school; I balled like a baby. I have tried for years to help him get through a regular school. I am proud of him for making it to the 8th grade in the school that he was in... but in reality he just has issues that would hinder his learning going into high school where he is.

Steven wants friends who are willing to accept him. Not "friends" who tell him to do one thing, then when he does it, says "no I did not say that!". In this certain situation, there were girls hanging around, when one of the boys told Steven to go tell the girls that they liked them and wanted their phone number... The boys then turned around and denied it.. Steven does not know that he was being used as a pawn. Is this actually a way to bully my son? I think so.

Yes sometimes things seem like what "normal" kids do, and yes people can be cruel. People do not understand what he thinks, why he acts the way he does, or even how he is. Heck I will admit even I have a hard time understanding. But does that mean I wish my kid was different? Honestly, yes there are times that I cry because I see other kids doing what Steven wishes he could do, but deep down in my heart- Steven is Steven. He is special. He can do amazing things. I believe god does not give you what you cannot handle; but that he gives you circumstances to help you grow and to widen your spirit and to come to him often and ask for guidance. I think we were led to this new school for Steven to learn how to grow and learn how to face the challenges he has in his life. He is growing up into the person only he can become.

I thank god every day for giving me my children. I just have to pray a little harder to figure out how to get them to understand one another more!


The Slacker Mom said...

Some days, hell EVERYDAY, my wish is to just keep Linc and Wy with me at all times, never let them out of my sight, never let them be the pawn in someone's game that ends up making them get teased or bullied. Can I do that? Can I just make them be my babies forever? I know the goal is total integration, but for me, for my heart, it would be a lot easier to shelter them forever and just enjoy them as they are and never have to deal with people on the outside.

Jennifer said...

Tina, thanks so much for sharing your story with us. I know from my time working with autistic and severely disabled children and teens that it can be so difficult, I can't imagine how hard it is to actually parent a child with autism day in and day out. You are such a strong mom.

Jessica said...

Thank you so much for sharing your story!! I love reading your blog and I am so happy that you are going to write what you feel. After all like you said this is your blog!

I am so glad that you found a school for him that he can fit in. Kids are way to cruel. I am sure he will just blossom in this new place!