As my sweet Gracie turned 4 weeks old today, I look at Friday(August 6th- her due date) and wonder what things would have been different for both of us.
When I first learned I was pregnant I thought "Hey, it's the fourth child, piece of cake!". I thought that everything would be the same, and I really thought that I knew what I was doing and how everything would go. I remember meeting with the nurse in my doctor's office and explaining how fast I delivered my children and knowing that I went usually within an hour of my water breaking.
In some instances I "knew" how things would be...
Boy was I wrong about "knowing" how things would be! Never in a million years would I have thought that at 18 weeks I would be told I may have a possible Down's syndrome baby, that I was/would have been in labor at 31 weeks and have to stay a night in the hospital with Magnesium running through my veins or the thought of my little girl being born early. As we finally came to Birth Day, We were filled with stress and anxiety of not knowing how she would be... weight wise, health wise and was she turned the right way? Did we have to go c-section or would we be able to go natural? There was also the happiness of knowing it was baby day... that we would finally meet our daughter and I could evermore leave the bad dreams of being told she was a girl only to birth a boy. Walking into what had just become "the unknown" since everything I had ever known with babies was finding me seeing I knew less than what I actually knew!
Things happen for a reason. My little girl decided it was time to be born early; whether it was to meet us early because she wanted to see us too, or even if it was the possibility of her wanting her own birthday.
She is the sweetest thing! She is so laid back, so calming, so... herself! She LOVES to cuddle, hates her diaper being changed and she is finally getting used to her swing. She is a tiny TINY baby who sometimes looks like my sister, but then in a moments movement looks like each of her siblings. She makes sounds like a mini pony, only to turn around and make noises like a sheep after Grandma proclaims her nickname to be "Whinny" after staying with grandma for a few hours.
She raises her head to look around very well, as she tries to utilize her feet to stand up. I swear I have to forewarn anyone holding her to watch because she pushes backward and you have to stop her! She is sleeping and eating well- even though she has a tendency to show signs of a milk and dairy sensitivity that I have to watch.
Daddy rushes home from work to hold her and swears her nickname should be "Peanut" and she even mimics Peanut with Jeff Dunham when she takes her hand and maneuvers over her head like the purple fantasy that the ventriloquist works with.
We have fun holding her and watching her sleeping with all of her funny faces and we have fun thinking about all of the angels she is talking to.
She came into this world early for a reason. Even though we know that the reason is unknown to us personally, we are happy she is hear; safe and healthy. Her siblings adore her and she is such a blessing to our family. Now that she is here, I cannot even think of what my life would be without her and I try to treasure every day that I get with her. She has taught me more about patience and has even given me the need to find different ways to look at life.
One Year Later
6 months ago
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